Time Travel + Brain Stealing = Murderous Appliances and Good Times

A book by Richard Steele

With the help of his best friend, a disturbingly gross Godmother and some random stalker he just met, Joe Brown is about to learn that what’s between his gunk ridden ears could be the key to saving the world and time itself.

Joe Brown thought he was living an ordinary teenage life, in an ordinary town, wearing some very ordinary secondhand underwear... until something terribly stereotypical and cliché happened that would change his life and underpants forever. Follow poor, naive Joe as he embarks on an epic mindbending, time-travelling quest full of confusing villains, poorly constructed characters, science fiction that only a Flat Earther would believe, and every inappropriate joke you’ve ever thought of but couldn't say out loud at your Grandmother’s funeral.
Prepare your brains-butthole for a bad case of mental diarrhea as you delve into a book so depraved and moronic, it requires you to sign a legal waiver extinguishing your rights to procreate after you've finished reading it. Don't say I didn't warn you...

time travel + brain stealing = murderous appliances and good times

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Richard Steele was born premature in Vietnam circa 1966 after his mother, a long forgotten United States test pilot, was shot down during the war. Little infant Richard fought his way through kilometers of Vietcong tunnels, dragging his unconscious mother by the umbilical cord to a nearby US army base. There, he dove back into his womb of solitude and re-birthed himself some two decades later. Legend has it that Richard spent five years in Antarctica staring intently at a blank book, writing the pages using only his mind and single handedly causing Global Warming. Some myths say he wrote himself into existence at the beginning of time and we are all but a spawn of his majestic imagination and perverted fantasies. Others will tell you he’s a certified idiot who once mistook his own hand for a blind date, resulting in a four year failed marriage…and two kids.
His previous works have been banned in several countries on Mental Health grounds citing, “Richard Steele’s words will lower your IQ faster than sniffing paint”. Living in exile on a remote island in international waters surrounding Australia, Richard now relegates himself to writing children’s novels for Catholic priests in prison, a niche genre he has found is increasing in popularity.